I was going through this quotes app that I’ve used on and off since 2019. And it’s so interesting meeting that girl that I was then.
You know, I’ve always assumed that as the years go by, that I grow and become a better version of myself. That this year’s version of me is better than last years.
But reading what my young self used to write, I’m convinced that even though she was more troubled than I am now, she was braver. She took to life like it belonged to her. Like the world was at her feet.
And I didn’t even know that I had lost that until I read her poems.
And yet with tenderness. And yet with a calm sense. A stillness. How can one be so risky, yet so calm? How can one aim for the stars while being so normal about it?
And I don’t know how to describe her. How to explain her essence. But it’s in the way she shot her shots with absolutely no fear in the world.
It’s the way she spoke her mind, shamelessly, unafraid. With no fuck given.
To say I miss her would be an understatement. I’m gawking at the woman I used to be, with tears in my eyes, admiringly.
I don’t know who I am today, but I certainly miss that little girl.