I’m listening to a Marcus Warner ‘song’. If elephants could fly. And its quite fitting, isn’t it? Because right now, i’m that elephant that is flying.
Had you told me last week, that a time like now, my heart would be in such peace, such clarity, such a mood, I would have thought you a little insane.
Because the thing with getting lost along the way, is that you lose sense of self. And at some point in the wandering around wondering if you’ll ever find your way home, hope disappears. Life becomes this not so sad thing, but not so alive thing either.
That was me for the last few months. Wandering. To people’s hearts. To stations at work. To things. Through things. Searching. Not knowing what i’m searching for.
Today I saw this really pretty mountain. Or hill is a bit more accurate. It was so damn pretty. It took my breath away. But the thing with it, is that it kept on being elusive. Just when I thought I had a clear view, we would take a corner, and my mind would be left with this yearning. I just wanted to see it one more time, in all its glory.
I tried taking a picture of it to no avail. That’s how elusive it was. But jutting out of the ground, was this hill, and just near the top, were this huge rocks that seemed like they were floating on it, defying gravity. All around it, were trees. And unlike the rest of the hills, this one wasn’t populated by humans. It just was. Sitting there majestically. Unbothered by nothing. Just existing on this earth, displaying its splendour for all to see.
And after a lot of hide and seek between us, we finally got to a point where I could see it. But that wasn’t the most amazing thing. It was that, just right after it, on its other side that I hadn’t seen before, were these range of prettier hills. Its like it had been shielding them from human eyes or whatever it is hills are afraid of.
My life feels like that elusive hill. That all along I’ve been begging for it to allow me to behold its glory. The journey being full of many twists and turns that don’t seem to lead anywhere fruitful.
Till I see a glimpse of this other side. And realise that its not really about that one majestic hill, but the journey itself. And all the pretty hills that I shall find along the way. That I was never lost. I was simply, on the way.