I’ve closed my eyes, and trust you me, a street in New York could not have been busier. Lots of things running through. Little many things i’m supposed to do in 24 hours or so.
And in the middle of that haze, it occurred to me, that I actually just have one thing i’m supposed to do this afternoon. Just one. I’m supposed to leave here, travel to school and just do that one thing.
Yet my mind had a million other things, things that aren’t in my control right now, things that will only require my attention should I wake up tomorrow morning, others will only need me in the evening. Not now.
And that focus, that idea that for now I only have that one thing, has brought such immense peace to my heart. You know when I was young, I used to admire a certain group of adults. You know those mothers with 3 or more school going kids, a salary that isn’t enough, maybe the help has disappeared, but they still have a certain stillness to them. They are not frantic. And I couldn’t understand that, because was I in their position, i would be all over the place, trying to find solutions to my a thousand problems at once.
At some point I even assumed its wisdom that comes with age. And maybe it is. The knowledge that even when your house is falling apart, and a million small thoughts of your loss and damage are going through your mind, you actually just have one thing to do. Step out of that falling house.
A day like this an year ago, I would have been way frantic and confused. But today, with the many little and big things to be done, I just have one thing to do right now. And maybe after that i’ll have another one thing to do. But for now..its just this one thing.