I had convinced myself that my life will get way better after my exams. I had put on hold doing anything I enjoy doing till I finish my exams. Till I’m done with those small devils. In simple terms, my happiness would be on hold, till I finished my exams. Then I would be happy. Then I would be free.
Then I’ve started reading some law cases, as part of my revision, and my heart has instantly been reminded of why we choose this course in the first place. I have been transfixed on cases after cases. I have wished I did this for a living. I have wished if only all my exams required me to read environmental cases. I have been excited reading judgments and how the defendants and appellants take jibes at each other using the law. There is one where a government agency tries to get out of compensating a company whose crops have been destroyed by wildlife migration by claiming that wildlife migration is an act of God. Like really? Like of all arguments those government lawyers could come up with, they saw it fit to claim an act of God as their defense😂😂?
I am having so much fun, that it has occurred to me, that my life is now. I know its cliche, but I may not live to see the end of my exams. Would I have wasted the next 11 days waiting for them to pass?
Sometimes that’s what I do with life. Say that I’ll enjoy it more when a certain activity or phase is gone. Not realising that life is now. Even then, when whatever I was waiting for comes to pass, my life shall still be then. The now of that time. Not the future.
So I enjoy reading for these exams I was dreading. And as usual, hopefully enjoy the rush that comes with actually doing them. Its so weird how I’ve moved from dreading them to feeling nostalgic that these might be the last ones I do in a while. If only I could enroll for something else that’s fun immediately.
I immensely enjoy learning. Immensely. And for a moment, I had forgotten that.