I was in class 5. Turning 10years old. In a boarding school with equally young kids. It must have been a Sunday or Saturday. When we had nothing to do. And it was my birthday.
So as we were gathered around my bed, talking about my birthday and how there was nothing for us to do, I lied to them that people at home were celebrating my birthday. I didn’t know if they even remembered. All I knew was that KCB bank would remember. When I got home, I would always find their birthday card for me. If no one remembered, or if they did but I was too far away for any communication, KCB didn’t care. They would care regardless. Is it any wonder then that i have such a soft spot for this corporation?
Anyway, back to the dormitory, with my closest friends around, girls only since we didn’t enter boys dormitories and neither did they enter ours, I removed some Colgate. That had many colours. And we pretended that that was my birthday cake. And we ate it.
14 years later. I’ll be turning 24 soon. A lot has happened in between. Mostly bad. And some good. But that young girl that wanted so badly to do something for herself on her birthday is still alive and well. After many deaths and resurrections.
Money has never really been the problem for me. I mean if we ate Colgate because that is all that we could find, we can always find something to celebrate somehow.
And as I enter into the mood of turning an year older this month, I think one thing i’m eternally grateful for, is having been born with myself. Sounds weird?
Specifically that aspect of giving myself the best I can at any moment. As long as its in my powers to do, I’ll do it for myself. Along the way, along those 14 years, I lost that aspect. I made others a priority. When I saw a pretty thing instead of buying it for myself, I first considered buying it for my friends. Any experience I wanted , I tagged others first.
But I have grown. Plus that mode of living almost left me dead. Being at the bottom of the chain in loving myself, meant in case of anything, I was the one to be retrenched or to suffer.
Now i’m my first priority. And life has never been better. That is almost an understatement. I get excited about stuff only I can get excited about and that’s okay with me.
But interestingly enough, my friendships have grown deeper and more fulfilling since I prioritized myself. And on top of that i’m creating and meeting ‘communities’ of people attracted by this glow i’m radiating as myself. Its as if my best life was waiting for me to see myself to happen.
Anyway, as I count down to my birthday, as I scout for what to gift myself, as I listen to birthday songs endlessly coz that’s the mood i’m in, as I get excited on what if I get to go to my ultimate birthday destination this year, I am grateful. For myself. And for being my own ultimate number 1.