I was reading a book that was asking why women take self portraits. And as one famous female photographer answered, the answer to that question is that there is no answer. People do some things just like that. Or for their own reasons that can not be put into words.
I take pretty good pictures. But selfies? I can stay for months without taking any. But when I do I can take hundreds of them. And have trouble deleting any because I like almost all of them. Which then means in a year if I decide I won’t repeat a profile picture of the same place, I rarely have any to change. Coz my phone has like 500 photos of only 5 or 4 places. Ooh well..go figure.
And when I subconsciously decided that this year I wanted many different profile pictures, it was one of those petty ‘resolutions’. Or so I thought. What I didn’t know, was that technically, that meant being or putting myself in many different situations or places that allowed me to take many selfies. And that only happens in places or situations when I am most happy. I hadn’t seen such a serious resolution from a seemingly petty one.
I’m seated in a happy place. Overlooking a most excellent view. Voted the 7th best beach in Africa or was it the world? I’ve taken countless selfies. That’s how I know that my happiness has overflowed my cup so I need ways of capturing it. Ways of realising it is real somehow. Ways of remembering a month down the line, that I was here. I was so happy. It shows in those hundreds of the same picture.
So far, ‘flowing’ with life has yielded a life of ease. I was telling my closest friend that this year, I didn’t want to struggle. I had enough of that for the past few years. I now realise that that means putting one foot ahead of the other.
Taking the first step towards what I want. It means taking a step of faith as the Christians love saying. Somehow that’s not what I meant when I said an year of ease. But somehow that’s what its turning out to be.
I walked into a bookshop last week. And I had only budgeted for 2 specific books that didn’t cost much. But I couldn’t resist Tricia Adaobi’s book ( what charm this woman’s work has on me, I don’t know! ). Which was way beyond my budget.
And as I finish reading it, some things concerning my class work which have absolutely nothing to do with her book, “Beneath the Baobab Tree” , become clearer. What I want to do in the academic field kinda gets some clarity. From an unexpected quarters.
And that’s my life for the whole of January. Listening to my insides, which sometimes have weird yearnings, but taking the first step towards it, and life opening up to give me whatever it is my inside wanted.