I posted something on my status and was uncomfortable with it for a while. Yet it was simply a sentence displaying self love. So I decided to think on it for a while. Why did a public declaration of self love make me slightly embarrassed? Why did I squirm a little in my seat reading it and knowing people have read it too?
And as I stewed on those thoughts for a while, it occurred to me, that had it been any of my friends, that I had posted with those words there, I wouldn’t have found an issue with it. Like had i taken gorgeous’s photo and placed her there with those words referring to her, I wouldn’t have blinked or found anything out of place.
Or had someone else posted that picture of me there,again proclaiming their love for me, I still wouldn’t have minded.
So it wasn’t that I don’t love myself or that I have a problem with that.
Its actually because in my entire life, I’ve rarely encountered public declarations of self love.
I’ve heard and encountered hundreds of people and materials encouraging self love. I’ve listened to sermons beseeching brethren to love themselves first so that they can obey, Love your neighbour as you love your self. For how can you love others when you don’t even love yourself?
But above all this things, I’ve seen that same society, turn around and glorify being loved by others more than loving oneself. That’s why public engagements are the in thing with whoever is taken to the most loveliest place seen as the most loved. That’s why even among Chibok girls, girls in captivity with forced husbands, the ones showered in gifts walk as if they are more privileged than those beaten by their captors.
Its like we say, yes love yourself, but should anyone else make a display of loving you, we’ll be more attracted to that.
Which is now weird for me. Coz i’m the type that would propose to myself if that was not as crazy as it sounds. I’m the one that would catch a grenade for myself if that didn’t mean I would die in the process. I’m the one that will toil with rough hands to take myself to that beautiful picturesque place of manicured hands.
No wonder I was having an uncomfortable moment right there. Publicly displaying affection to myself is quite new. To both me and all the circles I’ve been to. It rarely happens. And should it, it is rarely displayed. And should it be, it is rarely acknowledged as much as if someone else took that role.
Anyway, I shall continue annoying all those who view my statuses with my public utterances of love unto myself. It just feels right to me. I mean, i’m living this whole life with myself. Everyone else is temporary. And even if they weren’t, i’m still myself. And what’s not to love about myself?