If you’ve followed my blog for a while, then you’ve encountered my insomnia. For the longest time in my life, sleep was a problem. Insomnia was such a normal part of my life, that I found it weird how people could just sleep well, soundly and anywhere. It was like that thing I wasn’t blessed with that they were given.
After a whole year of healing( read 2018), emotional healing to be precise. Opening up compartments that I had looked up for decades, decomposed pain, hurtful words and actions, people and things I had allowed to define me, and finally starting to live for myself the way I think I would like , I now can sleep.
Sleep sounds so normal to someone else, but to me, I take afternoon naps and wake up believing in miracles. In my life, the last time I was ever able to sleep during the day under normal circumstances was when I was in nursery school , and it was compulsory for us kids to nap in the afternoon. So doing that almost two decades later feels like such a dream come true.
I deliberately slept early last night. I had been feeling sleepy the whole day and the two naps I took didn’t help much. Yet I’ve woken up late today. Almost 10hrs down the line. Still yawning. Yaani this is such news to me. I find myself looking at sleep as this newcomer to my life. You know those students who joined a school in the middle of a term? Those ones. That’s my sleep.
And for once I’m not worried whether this will last or not. Its too strange for me to start wondering on its permanency. For now I behold my sleep. Its such a miracle for me!
I can sleep!!