This morning I learnt something that has blown my mind away. Its those things that are phrased differently but end up giving us a totally new perspective of something. And regardless of what you do, you can’t pretend to unhear what you’ve just been told. It sticks. It pokes at you. It disturbs you, till you turn it over and over in your head.
What are your highest hopes? In relationships, your career, wealth, spiritual connection etc? Like what is that thing you aspire to achieve in life? For example work in Google or be the best Doctor, or marry that guy, or drive a Lamborghini. Those things you want or would like to have, experience or achieve.
Then what expectations have you placed on them? Like for example, if I date that lady or guy, my life will be complete, or i’ll see myself as successful when I get to that job position, or i’ll be wealthy when I can afford that car. What are those things, you think having your highest hope actualize, will make you feel? Like what is the desired outcome of those things you want?
Now, have you made that desired outcome a Requirement in your life? Personally I have. Especially relationship wise or career wise. Where if I don’t get that job that I want, then my life will not feel fulfilled. Or if I don’t date that person, then my happiness won’t be complete. Or if I don’t get somewhere with my career, then it was all a waste. Or if I don’t travel Africa, then i won’t have lived.
Requirements based on the desired outcome of our highest hopes.
Now, that Ladies and Gentleman, is what we call an Addiction.
An addiction, in extreme basic explanation, is that something, which in its absence you are not happy, or you don’t function normally. For example, for alcoholics, they don’t get a drink, they won’t perform their basic functions properly. Some will even have headaches, shaking etc.
You don’t get it, your life kinda stops functioning the way it is supposed to. That is what an addiction is.
So now, that I have pegged my complete happiness on the outcome of my desired hope, then technically speaking, I have made my hopes my drugs. Where if I don’t get them, then I won’t have lived the way I am supposed to – which is wholesome living.
So how does one get over that addiction? How do you separate your hopes or goals from wholesomely living your life?
I’m not a doctor, clearly, but anytime anyone tells me of a relative or a friend who is addicted to some drug, and they’ve tried many things to stop the addiction to no avail, then my first response is usually, why were they on the drug in the first place? Because I think you solve the root of something, then the leaves and stems and branches will sort themselves out automatically or easily.
Why are you here? And What are you?
You answer the above well, and no, don’t use the rhetoric we’ve been given all our lives of “everyone has a specific purpose on earth etc”. Though this is a whole topic for a another day.
Either way, your existence will be complete on earth without you getting that job or marrying that guy or driving that car.
I can go on and on, but how I’ll go about it might be different with how you decide to solve your addiction. Some drug addicts need a rehab while others, using self will and determination quit the drugs.
What I wanted to communicate is the addiction part. Because it makes so much sense, that it is illogical for me to be against drug addiction, but be addicted to something in my own life without knowing it. What’s the difference between that cocaine addict that needs a fix to be happy or to function, and me who needs a job or some achievement to get the same happiness or to function well? We are the same just different shades of it.