Re- creating oneself.

I’m either blessed with the best Facebook timeline or the universe just aligns me to my next steps in the most obvious of ways. Going through my timeline at some seasons in my life, one would be tempted to think that the 30 or so strangers that appear frequently, know each other. For example during that time I was struggling with my religion, different people on my timeline were also talking of religion in a way that gave me insight in whichever path I took. Some would say that since I was already thinking about religion, maybe that’s why I noticed religious posts unlike other times. But I don’t believe in coincidences.

Anyway, of late, two or three or four ladies that I follow have decided to re- create themselves. We are talking of a 40yr old scriptwriter deciding to drop everything and go learn filmmaking in the UK. Another known presenter at the top of her career dropping all her various media jobs for other things. An admin of a large network deciding to down her tools and pass the baton to someone else.

This isn’t your kawaida, from grass to grace story, or people leaving bad marriages or jobs for greener pastures. These people enjoy what they do. They are good at it. They have been at it for more than 5years. They loved getting up on Mondays psyched up because unlike most people, they don’t just work for rent and paying bills, they get fulfillment from it.

Yet here they are. Starting over. Some from scratch. Others taking a back seat. Others pursuing new fields of interest.

Re-creating yourself.

Its something that has been gnawing on me for a few days or week, though I didn’t know it this way at the time. I’ve been raised in a society that places honor on people who stay. And even woke ones are mostly about self-improvement.

And I think there is a big difference between growing or improving oneself and re-creating oneself. I think the two can’t be used interchangeably. And it so happens that I have heard so much about the former than about re-creation of oneself.

All along I’ve been on a journey to grow and improve myself. This means that I was like a vehicle. That was moving but it had a lot of faults. So slowly by slowly I’ve been repairing it. Replacing some parts. Discarding others. Adding others. Sometimes along the way I even discover powers it had that I hadn’t noticed before. Sometimes I need help. The process is hard, but the results are not only felt, but they are also visible. I now function better. Its not my optimum peak, I have a whole lifetime for that, plus its a process that takes time, but I can say i’m way functional now than I was last year. The difference is simply remarkable.

But recreating myself has a lot to do with me loving my car-self, and thinking to myself, if I gave absolutely no thought to anyone or anything in this world, what would I transform this car to?

Growing asks how better the car can work, recreation asks what else the car can be.

And that is how I’ve seen people transform their tractors to boats, others to airplanes, others transform their lorries to moving houses. Others change their not so pretty cars to beautiful convertibles.

And after re-creating yourself, the growing continues taking place. You now have to make your moving house more functional than it was when you first made it, you have to ensure your plane doesn’t tumble down midair. You have to ensure your convertible doesn’t inconvenience you by the wind blowing away your pretty stuff at the backseat.

Some would say people recreate themselves by their everyday decisions. Or as most inspirational books nowadays advocate for, change your habits, not make one big decision and assume you’ll run with it suddenly and be successful in the long run.

But for some of us, I think it just reaches a point when you know you know. When a new you is on the horizon. And unlike before when the new you unfolded herself in beautiful bits and pieces each day, this one is waiting for you to say the word and she’ll be whatever you want her to be. This one is an energy in place waiting for you to decide what form you want it to take.

And unlike some stages of growing that I have met with fear of leaving the known and stepping into the unknown, this one feels more comfortable to step into. There is no fear. Taking a pen and allowing my thoughts to think of what we want for ourselves for the next month isn’t filled with fear or excitement.

Its just there. Its like stepping into a new field that feels like it was made for you. None of those women sounded excited. Like they celebrated their shows or promotions more previously.

Its not to say its a sad affair. I don’t know how to accurately describe it. It just feels natural to step into it. Maybe that’s why I don’t see that script writer celebrate going to study film making. She celebrates how her plays do. But this decision, she just mentioned it in passing. The other lady just announced that its been real working for such wonderful media houses but its time for her to go. Like re-creating doesn’t come with all this hullabaloo that making major steps in the growth process comes with. Its a silent creative energy that takes you from a car to a boat in an almost seamless wave.

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