Own your normal. 

Yesterday morning I had one of those awakening straight up talks from one of our loyal customers. You see, instead of staying idle while looking for a job, I decided to help out my parents in their business. And with time I’ve become quite good at it. To the extent that even our customers are nowadays commenting on how good I am when it comes to running the part of the business I run. 

Back to yesterday morning, that man asked me what I was doing in life- like am I still in school or what. And I told him that I was doing my parent’s business, as I waited for a job. And he was stunned. Like why on earth would I be looking for a job while here I am doing well in business?

So the for the next like twenty minutes or so, he put his case across. That no one becomes a millionaire or even rich or wealthy by being employed. Business is the only way to wealth. And he gave me examples. Of my father. Of him and his siblings. 

He used to work for a company called BAT in 1980s. They used to pay him Ksh 16,000 then. I know- that was reaction too. Like the guy was earning soo much money in a time when his month’s salary could buy acres of land anywhere in the country by then. And for ten years he saved. And then quit to start his own business. And his business is doing well if you ask me. Some years back, he was a renown wealthy business man in our sides of Ukambani. 

And out of the 50 or so siblings in their family, only him and his brother(another of our customers too and a wealthy business man too), quit formal employment to start businesses. And in their entire family, only them are wealthy right now. All the others who got employed didn’t see the light( his own words). 

So his advice to me? I should look for money and start my own business. Its the sure pathway to financial freedom. He gave me valid examples. Of people who started businesses, and now their kids are running the show in a bigger better way. Like the Peter Mulleys. A local valid example that I can look upto and maybe relate to and live upto if I follow this path of wisdom that this man is showing me. 

Obviously we moved on from that man’s business to others in the course of the day. But his words stuck in my mind. 

Not because I want to be a business person, but because of how true they were. 

But most importantly, because of how my heart didn’t want that truth. 

I could be a business woman. And I’m sure even with major setbacks, I would ace it. I would be one hell of a successful woman if I choose business. That, you can bet your kidneys on. 

On the other side, in my entire life, I have never ever wanted to be a business person. Maybe as a side hustle, but not as my main thing. 

What I want when it comes to finances is not what people would term as normal. I’ve scared of saying this aloud. Because the world thinks its only sane for every one to want to be rich. 

But I have never wanted to be wealthy. Or filthy rich. 

Enough money to give me my needs? Definitely yes. To buy the cars I want at the time when I want them? Yes to that kind if money. To buy a farm in a dryland area and make it the greenest place in that ecosystem? Yes to that money. Enough money to invest in environmental startups? Yes. 

But enough to not know what to do with it? No to that kind of money. More money than I need to finance my desired lifestyle? Nope, not me. More money than I can use in one lifetime? No to that kind of money. 

Me being this way has always kinda made me ashamed of myself. Like can’t just be like normal human beings who want lots of money, kids and marriage? 

How do you face an old man showing you the way that works and tell them that financial stability doesn’t matter to you if your heart isn’t in it? And where is your heart? Will you eat that environment you are passionate about? Will travelling buy you a car or place food on your table? 

Yet, its what my heart wants. My heart wants what it wants. I’m teaching myself to love myself. Love comes with acceptance of who that person is. It comes with respect to the person’s wishes, desires and goals. 

So slowly by slowly I am learning to give my self the freedom to be. If I don’t want business, which is a sure and true way to a green plateau, then I should be okay with it in my heart. I want rugged plains and deserts and freezing mountains. And that is okay. Its my normal. 

Your normal or what the world terms as normal, shouldn’t drown my normal. Or rather, I shouldn’t allow it. And the only way is to first of all accept that I am normal. Which then makes my desires normal. It may not be your normal. But it doesn’t make mine less normal. 

This is for me. To giving myself space to just be. And more yes, to reading books that make look into myself and find  myself. 

This has been inspired by Shonda Rhymes- Year of Yes. 

 

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