Its going down

You know its bad when you start hiding your pain

Coz you’ve felt it too much

You’ve talked about it to the extent allowed by society- not too little to downplay it and not too much to make people uncomfortable

So you sit your inner ass down

And the pretending starts

You know from here its downhill

The smiles you fake

The small talks that make no sense

The two personalities you adopt- one that cries to sleep and another that acts normal to human beings

And you wonder how long this one will take

Months? An year? Two years?

And you sincerely hope its not a decade like last time

But that’s all there is- hope

And at times like this, 

Hope is an illusion

Its the mirage of an oasis in a desert that never materializes 

The heat, the cold, the sand, the wind- you prepare yourself

Coz its going down.