You know its bad when you start hiding your pain
Coz you’ve felt it too much
You’ve talked about it to the extent allowed by society- not too little to downplay it and not too much to make people uncomfortable
So you sit your inner ass down
And the pretending starts
You know from here its downhill
The smiles you fake
The small talks that make no sense
The two personalities you adopt- one that cries to sleep and another that acts normal to human beings
And you wonder how long this one will take
Months? An year? Two years?
And you sincerely hope its not a decade like last time
But that’s all there is- hope
And at times like this,
Hope is an illusion
Its the mirage of an oasis in a desert that never materializes
The heat, the cold, the sand, the wind- you prepare yourself
Coz its going down.