Its over. 

Has the universe ever played a number on you? Like took you on a ride and while you were screaming your lungs out of excitement it dropped you in the ocean without a life jacket? Well, that’s how it feels right now. 

I’m single again. After a month and a half of not being single. 

For now that hasn’t sunk in yet. 

There are all those questions running through my head. 

Like why did we have to date if it wasn’t going to last? Like why would God and the universe lead me into making a decision that wasn’t going to last?

I won’t lie that I didn’t expect more. But I also won’t lie and say dating didn’t take me by a complete surprise. But I love surprises. And that same way, it has left me surprised. Like what just happened?

I didn’t want to write about it here. Like who exposes their life like that?

But i’m in the bandwagon that insists that if you keep on posting pics about your king this and your king that, then we as part of your kingdom should know when things go south. So now the joke is on me. He-he. Aki and the way I laugh at those memes. 

Anyway, I’m just going to be courageous enough and admit that my last relationship lasted for a month and a half. ( since when did my life become full of drama?) I remember there was a Stories of Courage we attended that had Elsaphan Njora( or something like that) and Adelle Onyango were guests. This Elsaphan Njora admitted to having dated for 2 weeks. And we laughed at him. Like the whole audience was in tears. Literally. Well, the guy was just funny. Just that I don’t know what your reaction will be to this. 

But personally, I’m not surprised. Weirdly enough, my last ex( life moves on, right?)was just telling me how barely a month into our relationship, I told him I dreamt about us breaking up at 1 months old. And by then, I laughed it off and downplayed it. I mean, we seemed like  a match made in heaven. But he didn’t, it freaked him out.  He was deeply concerned, and as I said in my last post, my dreams have been coming to pass with time. Like I dreamt last year going on a trip and breaking my teeth, and an year later that happens. Now I dream of a break up and weeks later it happens. Maybe I should get used to it. 

It was worth it when it lasted. 

But I can’t help but wonder why the universe ensured I dated the guy just to break up few weeks later. Like there were so many signs when I signed up for it. And even as I was exiting, the universe has been preparing me for it like a week before. Like what’s up with you? I ask you for guidance and you guide me in and out of places and people that fast?

Anyway, you see the way I was excited that i’m now dating, I swallow a humble pie and go back to all my friends to inform them otherwise. 

For now, i’m okay. If tears come, we’ll cry them. I know Sharon you’ll laugh at my expense ( one of this fine days I’ll put you up for sale, he he). But please don’t send me woishe woishe things. 

I thank God for the experience. I may not know its importance right now, but i’m sure I will in future. As for now, its over. 


  1. Dorcas says:

    Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart….This is one of the most misinterprated verse in the bible.
    # my understanding#..when you delight in God you will have desires that come from Him…and this are the desires He gives you…

    When you pray for someone you have not seen is one of the way I delight in God because I believe my life is in His hand…I have done this faithfully for close to 8 years and God has put so many desire in my heart for this person that…
    when someone comes my way that is not from God because of what is in my heart I know…

    You may not pray for your future spouse…I dont disagree with you because its your journey in life…
    but one thing what if you actually did pray… and test God
    I pray for you not to follow my advice but I hope that you dont rob yourself an amazing experince of seeing the desires He puts in you as you delight in Him in praying for someone you have not met

    Another reason that I pray is that I have a desire to get married and I know the desire was put their by God…God has a funny way of amuzing me…I tell this to people and they get married before me who has been trusting for long…but because of prayer…I dont feel anything because the desires of my heart are a stronger wall that guard and surround my heart….

    Liked by 1 person

  2. kinashar says:

    Mercy, my sense of humour, undoubtedly, is dark. But this once, I shall seat by the fire with you and remain sombre. I did laugh though, when you mentioned my name. Who does that on a sad blog post? How do you want people to see me now, yawah?

    To woishe woishe things: never regret moments or decisions that meant you lived boldly. That meant you risked, you loved, you let someone in on your sacred spaces. Whatever happened Mercy, it was to happen. You don’t beat yourself up for it. Like all exits, though painful, you learn to celebrate them.

    You love, child. You loved. You still love. We shall sip our warm coffee to that.

    Free flowing salt, anyone 🙂 ?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. mwende says:

      He he.. You are a culprit to anything that happens in my life by virtue of association..
      Anyway, Do It Anyway by Alex Boye sums up everything you’ve said perfectly. Given another chance, I would still take the leap..even though the outcome isn’t anything palatable..

      And yes to warm coffee


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