So today I decide to go to some Ciru Ngigi’s timeline after a long time, and as I scroll through to find out what I’ve missed(fear of missing out is real) , she asks a question about God’s unconditional love and that being inconsistent with the existence of Hell. As far as I’ve followed her posts, I can say she is a pretty strong Christian with contemporary views of God and Christianity.
But I won’t lie and say that that question didn’t bother me kidogo. I thought of it. If God’s love is truly unconditional then why the need for us to accept Him? Isn’t that a kasmall condition on the way? And my thoughts turned to my pastor, does he ever have such kind of experiences, where something throws him back kidogo?
And then now to my friend, the one who still has not found her stable ground in God, if she encountered that question and gave it much thought, would she still listen to my advice of praying and reading God’s word? Like won’t that discourage her even further? That question will create so many doubts about God in her that it might discourage her from getting closer to Him.
But as for me, since I have an honest relationship with my God, I decided to bring those questions to Him. And in my head the reason I did that is simple; as much as people in here in the world raise all manner of concepts and accusations and beliefs about my God, one thing is certain, I have a personal relationship with Him that works. Like I don’t know if this hell exists or not( like I can’t prove it to you beyond God’s word), but I know that I have a God who listens to me at any given hour that I call unto him. I may not be able to defend Him to the world, but the world can’t take away the fact that I personally know God and our relationship has tangible effects on my life.
And as I talked to God about it( thinking of it ,it’s like snitching to Him what humans are saying about Him as if He hasn’t heard this over thousands of years), God drew me to learn from my relationship. My boyfriend and I were experiencing some teething problems, I thought we would require a lot of things to solve them. Then we met up and spent quality time together. And guess what? We didn’t even talk about 98% of those teething issues, they simply disappeared. Our time together drew us to who we are which overrides our actions or even words.
Same way, the world will tell us a lot of things about God, some true , some false. We’ll have our minds stressed out because we don’t know which one to trust, which one not to. We’ll do our research that will take us even further into the confusion. On the other hand, we have people like my friend, who are trying to grasp the basics. And maybe, its not working out.
The way I spent time with my boyfriend and things just got sorted out hivyo tu, God draws us to forget about what the world insists is true about Him and just spend time with Him. Maybe those many daily devotions out there are stressing my friend because hajui aanze Genesis or Revelation and how does one even start reading the Bible? And God is like, just come to me with your a thousand troubles and questions. Just spend time with me.
And who knows, just by being in His presence, how much of your life will never be the same again?