This period. 

I went for an impromptu interview yesterday. Impromptu because I didn’t even know that the job existed and neither was it in my field of expertise. 

I stumbled through the answers. Whatever I had prepared for in that last one hour wasn’t asked. I was asked about myself. And I stammered. This selling myself to strangers for a job is all new.

I had thought about a lot of things before finishing school. About getting a job or internship. About tithing. And paying for white water rafting. But I hadn’t thought keenly about the in-between period. About countless applications. Who would have thought ” I’m applying ” would be answer to “what do you do nowadays?”. 

I’m not frustrated. Yet. I’m like a child taking in a new environment. Maybe because I was prepared to fight for myself. For what I want. And that means saying no to offers that don’t suit what I want. 

This phase. Tarmacking. Its a weird one. I’m glad I have options. But the biggest thing I’m grateful for; is the period of learning this time is turning out to be. Its one of those instances that growth takes place in a supersonic speed. Attitudes have to be changed. Mindsets have to be shed off. I have to unlearn things and replace them immediately. 

But the biggest of those lessons, is to put myself first. That for the first time in my life, I’m living for myself only. Not even my parents. I’ve always been that good child/friend, I would consider your needs above mine. But now, that firstborn spirit of selflessness will have to take a backseat. And weirdly enough, its not easy. You would think that putting yourself first should come automatically. It doesn’t for me. I will have to work towards it. And its not easy. But I’m committed. Plus there is no other way to live the remaining years of my life. 

This period. I have so much to say about it yet so little. Plus words have been failing me of lately. All I know, is that I’m in a transition period. And it feels transitory. 

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